Rule No.5: Listen to the Angel Wearing a Tool Belt

 

Do guardian angels typically fix dishwashers?

Moving to Key West was a leap of faith. As a neurotically extroverted social planner, my biggest concern was, naturally: What if I don't make any friends? That worry was short-lived. 

My first priority upon moving into my condo was, obviously, acquainting myself with the pool. I put on my 333 suit, grabbed a towel and my book, and prepared for five hours of uninterrupted zen. Instead, I was met with the smiling face of the condo's 70 year old groundskeeper, Lou, who was pulling up a chair next to mine. There was no small talk, no polite distance. We went straight to the meat, the potatoes, and the meaning of life. 

That conversation became the first of many, and just like that, I had gained my first friend on the island. I'll admit that I've always been prone to odd friendships. Many of my friends are at least double my age, and strangers have a curious tendency to tell me their secrets. But there's something about Lou that sets him apart. 

Like a guardian angel would, he shows up fleetingly. Never at the same time or in the same place, but always with a piece of wisdom I didn't know I needed until the moment he said it. The precision of his words, how perfectly they apply to whatever I'm navigating at the time, can only be described as magical. 

Whenever I receive a wisdom bomb - usually around 6:45am, delivered over the hum of a leaf blower - I jot it down. So today's post is Lou's Rules, not Jules' Rules. Consider him my ghostwriter, just with louder equipment and better timing. Here are the headliners:

Rule No.1: "If you like someone, tell them. Life is too short to keep these things in." 

This one came to me at a time when I lacked the confidence to vocalize my wants: socially, in work, in dating. I was essentially single and friendless (no offense, Lou) in a new city, trying to navigate the corporate world for the first time, and terrified of making things weird. 

In my head, every possibility felt like a misstep. Asking my new coworker to hangout seemed like crossing a professional boundary. Approaching someone at the gym felt like an interruption. Starting a new fling with someone would only ruin our friendship. 

Lou's advice made everything seem so obvious. If you like someone, tell them. They might even like you back! If they don't, their loss. Life is way too short to preemptively avoid friendships, relationships, and new opportunities because you're scared of making things weird. 

Rule No.2: "Heat's coming. Some people sweat through it. Some people lie down and die." 

Lou appropriately delivered this on an August morning when it was already 90 degrees before the sun had risen. At first, I took it as an oddly cryptic comment about the weather. But the more I sat with it, the more it hit me. I was overwhelmed - juggling 4 jobs, preparing for busy season at work, trying to grow new friendships while nurturing old ones, and barely carving out any time for myself. 

It felt like too much, but then it clicked: the heat waits for no one. We are all on the same island, facing our own temperatures. Everyone has their own challenges, their own "heat". Your struggles might feel unique, but they're not yours alone. Sweat it out, keep moving, and lean on those who are sweating alongside you. 

Rule No.3: "Don't beg for anyone's time. The right person will keep coming back without complaint." 

This was my token of wisdom for today. If you know me, you know how crazy the timing is. I've been dealing with a particularly violent case of ghosting (we all know how I feel about this - refer to Rule No. 3) and it's really been kicking my ass. The little devil on on my shoulder - the one who's convinced that I'm unlikable and doomed - was starting to get louder, but Lou's words shut him up. 

They reminded me that time is not well spent decoding mixed signals, justifying inconsistency, or convincing yourself that asking for less is the same as being patient. Lou's reminder was simple, if deeply uncomfortable: attention that has to be chased isn't attention meant for you. It sucks and it hurts, but it's unfair to keep asking for something that people are unwilling to give. WEED EM OUT GIRL. 

So, with all of this being said, I think it's fair to assume that Lou is my fairy godmother. I've never seen him talking to anyone else, and no one is ever around to witness our conversations. Sometimes I wonder if he's even real. Either way, the lessons are being learned, the growth is happening, and that's all that matters. See you in the next one. Cheers!