The Jules Rules

It's not me, it's you. Have you ever had an interaction with a man that was so absurd you briefly wondered if you were being pranked? Same. I used to think my dating experiences were isolated, and I was somehow cherry-picking crazies out of a crowd, until I decided to conduct an experiment.  QUESTION:  Am I romantically doomed, or is modern dating just that bad ? RESEARCH:  I happen to have direct access to a group of the kindest, funniest, smartest, sexiest girls on earth. So, as any good scientist would, I dropped a shared note into the group chat and asked them to document the most unhinged things they've experienced while dating in the modern age.  The findings were... extensive. The resulting data set reads like a novel-length compilation of horrifying, hilarious, semi-legal, and entirely baffling behavior. For the sake of public consumption, I whittled it down to the stories that best represent the lunacy that is dating in 2026.  REPORT:  Data Set #1:...

  Do guardian angels typically fix dishwashers? Moving to Key West was a leap of faith. As a neurotically extroverted social planner, my biggest concern was, naturally: What if I don't make any friends? That worry was short-lived.  My first priority upon moving into my condo was, obviously, acquainting myself with the pool. I put on my 333 suit, grabbed a towel and my book, and prepared for five hours of uninterrupted zen. Instead, I was met with the smiling face of the condo's 70 year old groundskeeper, Lou, who was pulling up a chair next to mine. There was no small talk, no polite distance. We went straight to the meat, the potatoes, and the meaning of life.  That conversation became the first of many, and just like that, I had gained my first friend on the island. I'll admit that I've always been prone to odd friendships. Many of my friends are at least double my age, and strangers have a curious tendency to tell me their secrets. But there's something about Lou...